Hung's Big Fat Vietnamese Wedding

When the opportunity arose to attend my colleague, Hung's, wedding, I jumped at the chance, realizing that this would be a once in a lifetime experience. Hung is a really sweet guy. He's like my older brother in the office, always joking around and always looking out for me.

He had announced to the entire office a week prior to the day that he was going to make his Vietnamese girlfriend an honest woman. I was amazed at the engagement period was a mere 7 days! But it was a merry 7 days in the office and Hung was as giddy as a kid on candy, high on life, grinning from ear to ear. It was not unusual for him to break out in song in the middle of the day. His desk is immediately behind mine and Linh's desk is to my right, so Linh and I would just look up from our computers and giggle when that happened (it happened a lot!).

Over lunch in the week leading up to the big day, I pressed Thuy and Linh for details as to what to wear and to find out what a suitable gift would be. No black, not too much colour, and no jeans was what I was told. In terms of what to get Hung and Phuong as a gift, the advice given to me was a little more ambiguous.

Thuy, Linh and I agreed that giving money was probably the easiest and most appreciated, but the appropriate amount to give was a big question mark that was left hanging in the air. There was no wedding registry to speak of, so I was out of luck in that department as well. Thuy suggested that I get him something for their "buffet table"...which meant a vase? A picture of me? A clock? No idea! In resignation, I gave money to the couple instead. I later found out that what I had given was the equivalent to what was given by my bosses.

The day before the wedding, Thuy and Linh announced that they wouldn't be able to make it. Linh's son was coming down with the flu and Thuy had to stay in the office in order to prepare for a huge workshop. That left me, Dr. Lan ("the big boss") and Mme. Vinh ("second in command") to represent the group. To celebrate this auspicious occasion, the ACVN rented a nice SUV to take us to the ceremony in Thai Binh, roughly 3 hours away from Hanoi.

At 7:30 in the morning on the big day, we were whisked away to a location an hour out of town where we met up with the groom's cavalcade and accompanied him to his bride's home, where representatives of the two families had tea, shared sweets and debated the merits of the couples' suitability for each other.

Women in colouful ao dais (the traditional Vietnamese dress composed of a tunic and dress pants) made sure that our tea cups were always full and prayers were offered to the bride's ancestors at the family altar. When everyone was in agreement that this was a match made in heaven, the groom led the bride away from the family home, confetti was released into the air and the guests trailed after the couple. We piled into our vehicles and sped away, leaving only Phuong's mother and a relative standing at the roadside, crying over the loss of her daughter. I watched in the rearview mirror as this sobbing figure grew smaller and smaller in the distance. Seeing my concern, Mme. Vinh assured me, "This is normal. This is tradition."

3 very long hours later, we pulled into Thai Binh and were jubilantly welcomed by Hung's family and friends. The mood was very light and celebratory. Confetti rocket launchers painted the sky with colourful bits of crepe paper and a used car salesman cum wedding singer cued up the piano man (it was really an electric synthesizer - I had no idea they made those anymore) to serenade the couple as they entered. Mme. Vinh turned to me and made a funny face, "VERY NOISY!".

The bride and groom exchanged rings while the wedding singers did their thing. There were a total of three wedding singers. Their microphones were on "echo" so this made for great entertainment. Everyone made grimaces at each other. The bride and groom then went around the room offering tobacco and a special fruit/flower in exchange for the magic money envelopes. This was followed by more karaoke by the wedding singers and then lunch.

Lunch was, to put it literally, a smorgasboard of mystery meat. It was brought to us at small tables of six, and we sat sampling dishes. In my mind, a scene from "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" played in my head. The one where John Corbett's character says, "I'm vegetarian." and the mother replies, "OK. I'll cook lamb!".

When in Rome, do as the Romans, so I ate everything. After finishing a particularly garlicky seasoned meat dish, my boss turned to me and said very dryly, "That is dog meat". The colour immediately drained from my face. It was a good thing he didn't tell me that while I was chewing!! But I had already swallowed the piece of meat, so I shrugged my shoulders and thought "What's done is done!". Does this now officially make me a cat lover? To be honest, I could hardly taste the meat, it was really seasoned. I avoided that dish for the rest of the lunch, though. To make myself feel a little better, I drank two bottles of beer. I figured that the alcohol would neutralize things.

Then, the kitchen where the ladies were cooking all of the dishes caught on fire! Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a huge ball of fire leap out of the door. Luckily no one was injured and the ladies were able to put out the fire. Never a dull moment at the wedding...

My bosses and I spent probably a total of 2 hours at the entire wedding and 6 hours commuting to and from it. It was a long day, but every minute of it was enjoyable. Yes, even the dog meat.